Wake Family Law

Raleigh Divorce Lawyers - Raleigh Family Lawyers

Schilawski O’Shaughnessy Grace King & Mauney, PLLC

Raleigh, North Carolina
(919) 787-4040

Schedule a Consultation
  • Home
  • Divorce & Financial Issues
    • Divorce & Annulment
    • Separation Agreement
    • Equitable Distribution
    • Spousal Support
  • Children
    • Child Custody
    • Child Support
    • Termination of Parental Rights
    • Grandparents’ Rights
    • Adoption
    • Assisted Reproduction Law
  • Other Family Law Matters
    • Marital Agreements
    • Appeals
    • Domestic Violence
    • LGBTQIA+ Families
    • Marital Torts
  • Professional Services
    • Arbitration
    • Mediation
    • Parent Coordination
  • About WFLG
    • Scheduling A Consultation
    • News
    • Our Support Team
  • Our Attorneys
    • Michael F. Schilawski
    • Helen M. O’Shaughnessy
    • Nancy L. Grace
    • Katie Hardersen King
    • Justin L. Mauney
    • Kelley W. Cash
    • Rachel Beard
    • Melanie C. Phillips
    • Carly G. Baker
    • Jake W. Terrell
    • Marc W. Sokol
  • Contact
    • Make secure payment
    • Send secure documents
You are here: Home / Family Law / Custody / What Not to Do During a Custody Battle

What Not to Do During a Custody Battle

November 20, 2018 by WFLG Attorney

Having to go to court to fight for your children may very well one of the most difficult things a parent ever has to do. The emotional, physical and financial toll of a custody lawsuit is not to be taken lightly and is often exacerbated by the fact that people in the midst of custody litigation have often just ended a marriage or significant relationship. While the circumstances in every custody case are unique, and there is no exhaustive list of things to do or what not to do during a custody battle, as an experienced family law litigator, I can say that in almost all cases, the following things won’t curry you favor with the judge:

  1. Play pass the baby. When you don’t have a custody order or parenting agreement in place, there isn’t much you can do to force the other parent to abide by what you believe to be a reasonable custody schedule. That being said, if your child’s mother or father is not allowing what you believe to be the appropriate schedule, now is not the time to show up at the other parent’s home (or the child’s school or daycare), forcefully take your child, and keep them all to yourself until your court date.  Indeed, I have seen parents play pass the baby for weeks or even months at a time, grabbing their child when they can and keeping them until the other parent takes them back. Don’t do this.  Your child is not a pawn, and children are the ones who suffer the most in these types of situations.
  2. Pick up a drug or drinking habit. Following the stress of an ending marriage and all that comes with having to start a new chapter in your life, it can be helpful to seek out healthy outlets such as group or individual therapy, exercise, and exploring hobbies you might enjoy. While it may be tempting, turning to drugs or alcohol is never a good idea. If evidence is presented at trial that suggests your child may be in danger while with you, a judge is going to have serious concerns about you spending time with them unsupervised.  Along the same vein, if you have a drug or alcohol problem, please get help immediately, for both you and your child.
  3. Move in with your hot new girlfriend (or boyfriend) of one month. No explanation needed, particularly if you intend to have overnight visits with your child. Don’t do this.
  4. Talk to your child about money, the divorce proceedings, and how terrible your ex is. A child should not be placed in the middle of an adult problem. This is what friends, therapy, and your attorney are for.  Moreover, in my experience judges like to see a parent who encourages a child’s relationship with the other parent, not try to tear the other parent down.  Take the high road.
  5. Post anything on social media you wouldn’t want to be exhibit A at your custody trial. This includes pictures of you at that rave, long rants about your ex, pictures of your gun collection, and the like.

By Melanie C. Phillips

Filed Under: Custody, Family Law

We Can Help.

  • Submitting this form does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please no solicitations or employment inquiries via this form.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

News

  • Tips for Advocates in Custody Cases Involving LGBTQIA+ Children
  • COVID Health Checks Now Required at Wake County Courthouse
  • How do Separation Agreements Work?
  • What does a divorce actually do? [Spoiler alert: it gets you divorced but not much else]
  • New order from the N.C. Supreme Court includes more COVID-19 changes

Raleigh Divorce Lawyer

Wake Family Law Group

Schilawski O’Shaughnessy Grace King & Mauney, PLLC

4350 Lassiter at North Hills Ave, Suite 360
Raleigh, North Carolina 27609

(919) 787-4040
(919) 787-4811

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
secure pay Wake Family Law Group
  • About Wake Family Law Group
  • Our Attorneys
  • Separation and Divorce Process
  • FAQs
  • Child Support Calculator
  • Professional Services
  • Other Resources
  • News
We are so proud of our WFLG team for helping us keep our office safe and COVID free(!!!) for each other, our colleagues, and our clients over the past year. 💉And we are VERY happy to say that we are now all vaccinated! #wflg #northhillsdivorce#playhardplayfairplaytowin#FAMILYLAWSPECIALISTS#covid19vacccine#whendoesthirstythursdayresume ... See MoreSee Less

1 day ago  ·  

Photo

WFLG on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

1 week ago  ·  

Photo

WFLG on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

UNC School of Law in the top 25 law schools! ⚖️ 👊🏻Proud to have 3 Carolina Law alums at at firm: Nancy Grace, Kelley Cash, and Carly Baker. Also fun fact, we’re proud to have an alum at the firm from the #10 law school too (University of Michigan): Melanie Phillips. #wflg #northhillsdivorce #playhardplayfairplaytowin #familylawspecialists #UNCLaw ... See MoreSee Less

Carolina Law Jumps to No. 24 in the U.S. News & World Report

law.unc.edu

UNC School of Law cracks the Top 25 ranked law schools this year. Carolina Law moved up three spots to No. 24 out of 193 law schools ranked in the ...

1 week ago  ·  

WFLG on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Helping clients move forward and knowing they were pleased with the work we did=best parts of our job. Thank you to a very special client for this wonderful treat, and great lawyering by Marc, Carly, and Melanie! #wflg #northhillsdivorce #playhardplayfairplaytowin #familylawspecialists ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago  ·  

Photo

WFLG on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Timeline PhotosIt can be difficult to see your loved ones struggle with their mental health. Wondering how you can support a friend? These six tips may be a good start. 💚#mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthsupportWhat other tips have helped you speak to a loved one about their mental health? ... See MoreSee Less

2 weeks ago  ·  

Photo

WFLG on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

110+ Words of Encouragement To Get You Through A Difficult Time#wflg #northhillsdivorce #playhardplayfairplaytowin #friday #nclawspecialists ... See MoreSee Less

110+ Words of Encouragement To Get You Through A Difficult Time

www.scarymommy.com

No matter what you are going through, a few words of encouragement can make anyone's day just a little better. We rounded up a few to help you endure.

2 weeks ago  ·  

WFLG on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Check out our latest blog post by WFLG partner Katie H. King. This one is geared toward lawyers who are litigating custody cases involving LGBTQIA+ children. https://wakefamilylawgroup.com/tips-for-advocates-in-custody-cases-involving-lgbtqia-children/ ... See MoreSee Less

Tips for Advocates in Custody Cases Involving LGBTQIA+ Children | Wake Family Law

wakefamilylawgroup.com

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to speak on a panel as part of a continuing legal education seminar about serving the needs of LGBTQIA+ clients. We

3 weeks ago  ·  

WFLG on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Justin’s first day in his 40s is off to a good start. ☑️ NC Autism Society golf tournament today. #wflg #northhillsdivorce #ncautismsociety ... See MoreSee Less

3 weeks ago  ·  

Photo

WFLG on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Wishing a very happy milestone birthday today to WFLG partner Justin Mauney. 🎉🎈You can read more about Justin at:https://wakefamilylawgroup.com/family-law-divorce-attorneys/justin-l-mauney/4️⃣0️⃣ ... See MoreSee Less

3 weeks ago  ·  

Photo

WFLG on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Congrats to WFLG’s Dana Satterfield who was one of the program planners for the program “Keeping It All Together: Today's Family Law Paralegal CPE” and Nancy Grace, who was one the speakers. ... See MoreSee Less

3 weeks ago  ·  

Photo

WFLG on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Happy Friday!#wflg #northhillsdivorce #playhardplayfairplaytowin #friday ... See MoreSee Less

3 weeks ago  ·  

Photo

WFLG on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Happy International Women’s Day!#internationalwomensday #womenshistorymonth #womensupportingwomen #wflg #northhillsdivorce #playhardplayfairplaytowin ... See MoreSee Less

1 month ago  ·  

Photo

WFLG on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

  • Site Map
  • Disclaimer

Law Firm Web Design by Killer Creative Group