The idea of divorce can feel overwhelming, and many people aren’t sure where to begin. At Wake Family Law Group, we have guided countless clients through the separation and divorce process in North Carolina. Because we focus exclusively on family law, we understand the legal and personal considerations involved, and we’re committed to protecting your interests while helping you work toward the best possible outcome for your situation.
Below is an overview of the separation and divorce process in North Carolina to help you understand what to expect. When you’re ready to speak with an attorney and take the first steps, we hope you’ll consider the North Carolina divorce attorneys at Wake Family Law Group.
The Process of Separating
Divorce in North Carolina
Settlement Negotiations in North Carolina
Collaborative Law in North Carolina
Mediation in North Carolina
Arbitration in North Carolina
Med-Arb in North Carolina
Neutral Evaluations in North Carolina
Divorce Court in North Carolina
Divorce Appeals in North Carolina
The Process of Separating
Before separating in North Carolina, there are several important factors to consider: Should you leave the marital home? Where will you live? Can you support yourself financially? How will parenting time be shared?
Many people find it helpful to create a budget and gather copies of important financial documents—such as tax returns, bank statements, and account records—before moving out. Speaking with an attorney before you separate can help you understand your rights, plan strategically, and avoid common pitfalls.
In North Carolina, legal separation does not require any formal legal filing. You are considered legally separated when you and your spouse begin living in separate residences with the intent to remain apart permanently.
Many couples choose to formalize their separation with a written separation agreement. This contract can address key issues such as spousal support, child custody, child support, and the division of marital property (known as equitable distribution). If an agreement cannot be reached through negotiation, either party may file a lawsuit to have these matters resolved by the court.
Under North Carolina law, you must be legally separated for at least one full year before you are eligible to file for divorce. Legal separation begins when you and your spouse start living in separate residences with the intent to remain apart permanently.
Divorce in North Carolina
Once you have been separated for at least one year, and either you or your spouse has been a legal resident of North Carolina for at least six months, you may file a lawsuit requesting a divorce. North Carolina does not require a separation agreement in order to file for divorce. However, because claims for equitable distribution (property division) and alimony must be resolved or pending before the divorce is granted, many couples choose to complete a separation agreement first or file claims for financial or children’s issues along with the divorce.
If you are served with a divorce complaint, you generally have 30 days to file a response with the court. This response should include any counterclaims. It’s important to note that claims for Equitable distribution and alimony are permanently barred if they are not filed before the divorce judgment is entered.
Settlement Negotiations
Getting divorced in North Carolina does not always require going to court. In many cases, our family law attorneys can work directly with your spouse’s attorney to exchange information and negotiate settlement proposals. When successful, these negotiations result in legally binding separation agreements and property settlements that can be enforced by the court.
If direct negotiations are unsuccessful, we will evaluate your situation and recommend alternative strategies, such as mediation, arbitration, or litigation. Changing course can often help move stalled negotiations forward and lead to a resolution.
Collaborative Law
Collaborative law is a cooperative and efficient approach to resolving family law issues when both parties are willing to engage in good faith, share information openly, and work respectfully toward a mutually acceptable agreement. One of the key features of the collaborative process is that both parties commit in advance not to litigate. Instead, they participate in a series of structured meetings with their respective attorneys to negotiate and resolve their disputes outside of court.
A core principle of collaborative law is that if the process breaks down and a settlement cannot be reached, both attorneys must withdraw from the case and take no further role. This requirement encourages everyone involved to stay focused on reaching a resolution.
Collaborative law can be a good option for parties who are emotionally ready to work together and who share a genuine interest in resolving matters without litigation. However, not every situation is suited for this approach. Separation and divorce can sometimes be high-conflict, and even with the best intentions, intense emotions and complex issues may make cooperation difficult. If the process fails, you will need to hire a new attorney to take over your case. It’s important to carefully consider the emotional dynamics and the nature of the unresolved issues before committing to the collaborative law process.
Mediation
Mediation is a structured form of negotiation used to resolve family law disputes without going to trial. It involves selecting a neutral third-party mediator who helps the parties reach a voluntary settlement—either before or after a lawsuit is filed. A skilled North Carolina mediator can often help resolve even high-conflict disputes through guided discussion and compromise.
Mediation has become one of the most effective tools for reaching resolution in family law cases. Settlements reached through mediation are typically formalized in a written agreement or consent court order that reflects the parties’ mutual understanding.
Although mediation involves the cost of the mediator’s fee, it can result in significant savings by avoiding the financial, emotional, and time-related costs of litigation.
Arbitration
Arbitration in North Carolina is another form of alternative dispute resolution available. In arbitration, the parties retain a neutral third party—essentially a private judge—to resolve their dispute outside the courtroom, typically in the privacy of a law office or conference setting. The arbitrator manages the exchange of information, hears arguments from both sides, and issues a binding decision on the disputed issues.
Both parties must agree to arbitration in advance by signing a written arbitration agreement. This agreement identifies the arbitrator, defines the scope of the issues to be decided, and outlines any limitations on the arbitrator’s authority.
Arbitration can be an excellent option for those who value privacy, flexibility, and efficiency. It allows parties to choose an arbitrator with subject-matter expertise, schedule hearings at their convenience, and resolve disputes without the delays often associated with court proceedings.
While arbitration can involve the added cost of hiring a private decision-maker, it often results in a more streamlined process that saves time and money overall. One potential downside is that arbitration decisions are difficult to appeal, even when a party believes the arbitrator made an error.
Med-Arb
This approach combines elements of both mediation and arbitration. The parties jointly select a neutral third party to first act as a mediator, guiding them through efforts to reach a voluntary settlement. If mediation is unsuccessful, that same individual transitions into the role of arbitrator and issues a binding decision on the unresolved issues.
Neutral Evaluations
To support settlement efforts, parties may choose to obtain a neutral evaluation—an independent, third-party assessment of their case. The evaluator hears both sides and offers an unbiased legal opinion predicting how a judge might rule if the matter were litigated. This process can focus on a single issue, such as child custody, or address all aspects of the separation.
Going to Court
The court system plays an important role in North Carolina family law, particularly when one party is uncooperative, unreasonable, or abusive. Litigation provides a formal process with defined procedures and timelines, offering a structured way to gather information, resolve disputes, and establish the rights and responsibilities of each party.
A family law case typically begins with the filing of a complaint, which outlines the relief being sought. The opposing party then files an answer, often including counterclaims. Additional documents—such as financial affidavits or property inventories—may be required as the case moves toward trial.
While a case is pending, our attorneys continue to pursue resolution through other avenues such as negotiation or mediation. In many cases, the court requires the parties to attempt mediation before proceeding to trial.
If the case cannot be resolved through settlement, it will proceed to trial, where the judge will hear evidence and testimony from both sides and then issue a court order.
Appeals
If you receive an unfavorable ruling in district court and believe the judge made a legal error, you may have the right to appeal. An appeal is not a new trial but a review of the existing trial court record, along with written legal arguments submitted by the parties’ attorneys.
Appeals can be time-consuming, often taking a year or more for a decision. In family law cases, trial judges are given broad discretion, which can make it challenging to overturn a ruling on appeal. It’s important to consult with an attorney to evaluate whether an appeal is likely to succeed and whether it would be a cost-effective option in your particular case.
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